Assumed Safe
I do not establish safety with my loved ones.
I do not establish trust with those who are suspicious.
I do not prove my innocence to any accuser.
I am comfortable being avoided by those who are threatened by me or my work.
If someone believes I am unsafe to them or they are unsafe in my presence, I simply hope they find what does feel safe to them.
I would not generally endorse the practice of remaining somewhere your body is telling you is unsafe in order to see if safety might be there for you.
Safety would likely be there for most people, with me, but I don't want to prove it. I don’t want to interact with those willing to interact while they are suspicious. I don't want to endorse the practice of proving my safety or trustworthiness, and in my experience this is a practice which never ends. It is the practice of someone who does not feel safe as a general rule, someone who does not trust themselves to maintain their own safety.
A person who is willing to be where they feel unsafe, who wants their safety established and demonstrated, wants that regularly, and I am only interested in cultivating relationships in which safety is a foundational assumption.
When we are constantly proving safety, we are limited to establishing and reestablishing a functional baseline.
When we assume safety, relationships offer unimaginable creational potentials.
I have a full and thriving life. I have WONDERFUL friends and lovers across the country and around the world. I have used my practices of relationship to cultivate connections which strengthen and deepen year on year.
When I am considering whether to add someone into this lush forest of loving connection, I am considering whether I can make room for them and how their practices will mesh with what is already going on. I am looking at my own proven track record of success, which is huddled around me every here and now.
Suspicion is outside of love’s forest, and I have to leave love’s forest in order to contend with it. I am choosing connections from within love's forest, and there is NO invitation which asks me to leave love's forest which I will find compelling.
