Do you really want to control other people?
I bet you'd say you don't.
But if you don't know what TO DO instead, you'll keep controlling, and keep suffering from your own efforts to control, even if you know you "shouldn't be controlling."
If you don't want to control, but people perceive you as controlling, judgmental, or instructive, it's likely because you are missing a highly nuanced technology of Communicating Collaboratively.
This technology is so nuanced that when I introduce it to people, it seems to be only a slightly different phrasing of how they're already saying things.
Then we walk through some examples, the way the control-way they know of phrasing closes collaboration and the way my slightly-different-phrasing opens space for collaboration.
Eventually, there's relief. Ah, THAT is how to align my communication of my observations and desires with my desire for the other to do as they desire.
As a person who does not want to control others, it's frustrating to contend with others perceiving my desire to collaborate with them as an effort to control them.
I can slip right back into control patterns via this frustration, wanting to control their perception of me, and before we know it, they're totally right and I AM trying to control them again.
The Village Principles have technology to account for every slippery slope back into control. It is nuanced, it is only slightly different from all the ways I learned. It's slightly different the way 3 degrees of difference on a flight plan will land two planes hundreds of miles apart.
