Do-Over

I had to ask for a do-over

I haven't asked to redo an interaction in a while.

But I was already through my interaction with my roomie when I realized I'd missed a chance to uphold a new policy I'd wanted to implement for our relationship.

Nothing was wrong with the moment. It was slow and sweet and considerate, a curious exploration.

I wanted to redo it because it was a fractal of refinement I want to bring to my connection with the one I have so near, love so dear. I desire to bring more play to our connection, and meeting this moment with consideration wasn't hitting it for me.

I asked her to ask me again.

"I forgot about my policy! I wanna redo."

She gave me a suspicious look but went for it.

"Do you want me to melt the cheese on the tortilla when I warm it up?"

"FUCK YEAH, that sounds amazing! You are amazing. I love the way you think." I met her with overwhelming enthusiasm.

She lit up and bounced.

Yes, that's what we're looking for.

Refinement is not a result of conflict, though conflict is a common route of refinement.

Refinement is a meditation, we do it at peace most of all. We do it from nourishment most of all. We do it from love most of all.

Refinement seeks not to repair pain. Pain is pain is pain. Refinement says, how do I hold that life contains pain and STILL serve myself every quantity of delight?

Refinement asks about the most prosperous reality, visions it and breathes life into THAT, and all the lesser problems down the chain resolve themselves in the nourishment that provides to and for PROSPERITY.

All that energy you have on fixing your problems... what if you used it to ask how FUN this life could be?