Does he make sense in your life?
If you have children, you may wonder, when is the right time to introduce a potential partner to my children?
The right time is when you're introducing him to your children as something other than your partner or potential partner.
That could be right away, especially if you meet him because of kiddo activities.
This is actually one of the easier positions from which to attune to compatibility, as a single mother.
Too often, we date for demographics, for age and location and income. But when we bear allegiance to compatibility first and foremost, we are seated within our worthy, well-crafted lives, seeing potential partnership in the right here and now.
When we are loyal first to compatibility, we notice what is in harmonic resonance with our current lives, and notice where we have the opportunity to make our lives more resonant with the love we desire.
When our eyes are on compatibility, we transcend the need to classify, categorize, and sort people into relational templates like "partner" and "potential partner." Rather, we come to witness the way that relationships are generative resources within our lives and networks, and we come to value each unique relationship for the resourcing it offers.
We do not ask it to look or be a certain way, we do not ask it to offer something specific, we appreciate what is available, like we appreciate what is available in any realm.
So when do you introduce a man to the kids?
When you know he is a father of the village. When you know his presence will benefit your children. When he has something to teach or offer them. When you arrange a play date with your kids and his.
Introduce him to your children when you are prepared to let them attach or not as they wish, when you are prepared to navigate the many transitions your relationship may undergo, when you like your projection of how that might go enough to involve your children in it.
And this works as a tool of discernment, as well as anything. When he is going to be something other than your partner or potential partner to your children, something valuable and generative that could stand on its own, that is when you know you have a partner or potential partner on your hands.
