Existing

I get invited to workshops and conscious events a lot, and rarely go. I am not “trying to deepen” or “becoming more conscious.”

I'm here for parties.

I'm here for the lowest key of party, like right now with two friends at my house, all of us in separate rooms. Earlier we hung out on the couch together listening to pop music with magazines and markers, as analog as it gets in the digital age.

I'm not on a growth journey, especially not with my community. My community is context for meeting life. Life is guaranteed to grow us, with the processes we have all developed within us, which we are always applying within us. We also share about these processes, conversations deep and insightful—we commune, and it's helpful, but it's not for the purpose of helping.

We mostly goof off together. We make fun of each other and life. We flirt with each other and cuddle and make art and move our bodies.

In my community, we stand in the street and admire the pink neon clouds, noticing aspects to share them with others. We gaze upon a tree, and remind each other of the magnificence of another tree a further way on.

In my community I lean in the car window of my friend driving by and we talk until another car comes, and it can take a while.

We make food and celebrate life.

The ceremony is here and now.

This is where the journey is meant to arrive, and yes, it does have an arrival. It arrives in peaceful relationship, simply doing life together, and it doesn't take a lot of workshopping.

The forever journey is within, to stay on the path of ease, to have genuinely good relationships without bypassing the "bad" feelings that come up, but rather truly feeling and processing them within.

The forever journey is to notice when I'm trying to be loving and choose to be in love.