fuck 'meeting my needs'
In codependency, I need relationships to solve my problems, hear the feelings and thoughts of mine that plague me, that I'm not capable of feeling or not willing to feel, nourish me from inevitable depletion, and provide for me when I am lacking.
Codependency is relating from the premise that we need each other, we need the relationship, neither of us are whole in ourselves, nor are we living lives we feel capable of managing alone.
In codependency we cling to relationships as if they are a life-saving resource, and paradoxically kill them via extractive demands.
Beyond codependency, I have relationships because I am a human. Relationships are inevitable. They are the joy and purpose of life. They aren’t merely nourishment—they’re a reason to stay nourished, to keep thriving, to continue showing up to life, to refine and offer my greatness.
When I'm not constantly demanding of them, they're incredibly enjoyable, easy to find, easy to maintain. My relationships are about who I want as context while life throws at me whatever it will, while I feel how I'm capable of feeling, while I feel what I am willing to feel, while I feast on all the available nourishment, while I identify and receive aspects of my insatiable desire and go on wanting other aspects.
Who do I LOVE having around, no matter what's going on?
Who can remind me that we can't have a problem?
Who is always there to collaborate with me on identifying the larger prosperity under which this "problem" would disappear?
Beyond codependency, it's not about meeting my needs.
Fuck meeting my needs. Show me what I couldn't have imagined without you.
