I am interested in respecting and admiring the men around me.
My attention is on what's admirable and respectable in the men around me.
This is a much more powerful tool of discernment than avoiding what I don't want to see in men.
That oft-lauded practice of looking for the red flags.
That creates a presumption of threat, a posture of protection.
I prefer the poise of peace.
I embody the assurance that I am receiving providership in every moment. That the men around me have valuable offers and their love is generous and kind.
And of course it IS.
In my posture of receiving, in my attention on excellence, that is all I see.
Mr. Red Flag is RIGHT THERE and I just don't even notice him. He's like static on the radio—so CLEARLY not music, I neutrally and automatically shift my attention.
The same way I used to ignore deeply good men for the way they were seated back and away, confident in their offer.
My body, heart, attention, are tuned to the goodness in men, not what it LOOKS like, but what it feels like in my body and how it patterns my mind and resonates in my nervous system when I am around masculine excellence embodied in a man.
This is not how I was originally tuned. It's tuning I claimed from the first place it was offered to me, and it took probably a full year of emotional expression and release to drop all the way into it.
That means I was crying, hard, every day, for an entire year, finally finding access to the part of me that knows how to feel safe without being bored.
The investment was worth it. Good men are all I see. AND they turn me on.