Indulge

Some of us were taught that "I don't want to" and "I don't like that" are excuses, that they're bratty or self-indulgent, or rude.

Because of this, we revert to "I can't," (which is actually an excuse and not a boundary) and which is an abdication of choice and the responsibility to make a choice.

"I can't" is an excuse—it sidesteps your need to make a choice or own and potentially defend that choice, deferring to some inability. It's still perfectly valid, it's just not a boundary and it's not likely to succeed long term like a boundary. Your body will kick in on this one, support you with illness to validate your need to say "I can't." You're inviting inability and powerlessness into your life when you rely on it to be your boundary.

There is nothing self-indulgent about it, (and by-the-by, self-indulgence is no crime)—you are allowed to do just as you want, just as you like. Your life is for you.

In fact, you are THE ONLY ONE who can maintain this standard for yourself and your life the way you deserve. No one can stand for this like you can, because no one can know your desire like you can.

"I don't want to" is a boundary. It upholds the standard for your life "I do just what I want." This standard is necessary if you want to be a full YES to your life. Your desire must be sacred to you above all else.

"I don't like that" is a great reason to refuse. You have no obligation to participate in anything you don't like. Your subjective opinion is a statement about you, not an indictment of the thing you don't like. It's not an insult to not like a person, a flavor, a place, an activity. It's not important for you to suffer through it for any reason. Your time is your own.

A complete experience of "I don't want to" requires the ability to cultivate desire for what must be done.

A complete experience of "I don't like that" requires the ability to enjoy a bit of suffering now and then.

The real thing is creating a life and a set of tools that maintains good options to choose at all times.

Learn the ultimate empowerment in the form of personal responsibility on the Village Principles Masterclass. The three principles, 1. I am the One, 2. Opt-In, and 3. They are the Point, will revolutionize the way you function in networks and infuse your relationships with Devotional Love. Tuesday, July 30 at 5:30PM pst, 8:30PM est.