Internal Process

If I think I have a problem with someone, I process it internally.

I ONLY bring them the post-process share of this internal process if I have amends to offer them.

If I am seeking amends, participation, collaboration, or cooperation from them, I know I'm not finished my internal process.

When I move out of seeking mode, THAT is when I'm truly available to see whether they desire to participate, and on what terms.