Intimately Agile
The practice of intimacy enables the feature of agility for relationship.
I define intimacy as the commitment to love what IS.
That doesn't mean I like what is. Loving what is might be a meta-experience, a choice I exercise in the only arena where my free will applies—within. It may mean I love not liking what is, I accept it, welcome it, receive adjustment of the experience of not liking what is.
This enables agility because I am able to move toward what I want without avoiding any of what's required to get there. I move at an easy pace, in the direction of my preference, but I don't have to swerve, take damage, take time to repair, or use analysis to correct course. I am able to receive something beneficial from every situation I am willing to walk into. I adjust according to my experiences.
The security for intimacy is compatibility of standards. I don't ask of others, I resource myself according to what is already on offer from others and the world. I walk toward the place where what I want is on offer.
The security for transaction is control, usually enacted through fear, usually fear of the threat that extreme emotion represents to the nervous system. Transaction wants to guarantee a “good” experience of the circumstance. When we think transaction has failed, we stay in experiences we don't want, trying to fix them, and keep ourselves out of experiences we do want. That was unfair! I want justice!
When we embrace emotional intensity and have systems and structures to manage it somatically, we are able to be in intimacy. In intimacy we have agility because we are unafraid, expressive rather than avoidant, sharing the truth rather than condemning reality.
This is where we drop the economy of scarcity, the necessity of emergency and depletion. This is where we are able to seize what we desire to experience.
