Marriage, Meaning...?

"I always wanted to travel for a few years, but then I got married."

This is a modern practice of ancestral grief—we marry and make the marriage a snare rather than a home.

Oughtn't marriage to offer us a MORE durable assurance, that this thing is durable to my fickle whims?

What is a home but something you may leave and WANT to return to? Home is the refuge, not the prison. Leaving home is what makes home home. Returning home is what makes home sweet.

Shouldn't marriage be the form of relationship that allows for a couple years of solo travel without fear for the relationship crumbling? Oughtn't it be a contract of commitment to support one another in living full and meaningful lives?

I, for one, plan to marry someone whose desires I find to be sacred. I plan to marry someone I admire, adore, and appreciate as they live exactly how they want to live. I expect marriage will arise out of our compatibility, a natural entwining of our lives as liking each other leads to more and more instances of leaning in. I will marry the one whose support I value and who asks support of me which I love giving.

I do not want someone who is "willing to change," "ready to compromise" or "willing to work hard." I want someone who makes these ideas laughable in his commitment to his growth, in our mutual compatibility, in the ease of our connection.

Life will ask plenty of us, and offer us plenty of opportunity for union and connection. Life is hard work. Relationships are a refuge.