If I'm wondering when he's gonna text me, that's not my man.
There are men in my life who function as templates for masculine integrity.
My male friends are my touchstones for my dating life.
I have deeply surrendered and trusting relationships with men in my life in various platonic contexts, and I'm playing out fractals of trust constantly with them, so I always remember what it feels like.
When it comes to a man I trust completely, I don't wonder when he's gonna text me. I feel him wherever he is—his communication happens through our bodies, through our mycelial connection, and I can feel it there any time I look for it.
His love is a covering I can call on any time, and mostly I don't because knowing this is plenty.
If I feel let down, if I wonder if I'm too much, if I can't feel a connection in my dating life, my friends are there to show me that I do know how to dance my side of an equation, and what it feels like when a capable leader stewards our connection.
This lets me allow entropy, because I have somewhere my attention does belong—my attention belongs on experiences of men as incredible stewards, and I do not hold out to have this romantically or sexually, or with someone in particular I liked imagining it with.
I allow myself to have it here and now with wonderful men who are in this life with me, walking alongside me, sometimes close, sometimes on the other side of the world.
Cooperation and collaboration, devotional connection, does not have to be relegated exclusively to the romantic realm.
It could be who you live with.
It could be your business partners or colleagues.
It could be on the other side of the country.
You could feel, as I do, that there are many homes which are ready to open the doors for you, many who would say to you, "welcome home."
If your pattern is that your dating life is always in flux, don't go there for stability!
It's not a problem that your dating life is unstable, it's a problem that, knowing this, you still attempt to practice it as your source of stability.
Who are the people in your life whose presence reminds you what your admiration feels like? How can you give them and those relationships more of your time, energy, and attention?
