No Contact
Cutting people out of your life or going “no contact” is a framing I’ve discarded.
This description maintains an externalized framework, and being Abundantly Boundaried is an internal matter.
The framework I offer to clients and masterclass attendees (and use myself) is something I call a Pristine Container.
A pristine container is a curation of my experience that insulates me from all aspects of relational challenge for a time.
This framing evokes boundaries about what I am available to expose myself to experiencing, how I’m responsible for that, and describes a time of containment and exquisite self-care.
It is not about keeping others out, it is about maintaining specific, higher-than-ever conditions for my own experience. It is a context of nourishment much like I would offer a garden, knowing there is no other way I can make plants grow.
It is not about what I remove from my life, it is the lush nourishment I have in the absence of all relational challenge, a peace that allows a true internal accounting of how I want to go about my life and my relationships.
One important aspect of this is that it doesn’t require any relational declarations and it’s meant to be temporary. It doesn’t require me to decide anything about any relationships in particular, and limited information can convey my availability or unavailability to anyone who might be expecting the same old same old with me.
This means that if my time with myself reveals ways I can be in loving connection with those people I used to find constantly challenging, reunion happens with minimal drama. Not having made declarations or decisions, there’s nothing to clean up or reverse. There’s simply the resumption of relationship with new rules nobody else has to know about.
What I’ll be showing up for. How I’ll be showing up.
Are you curious about boundaries beyond scarcity, obligation, and codependency? Boundaries that are warm and loving points of connection? Boundaries that function as effortless standards for your life? Join us tonight at 6pm PST for the lifechanging 90-minute masterclass, Abundantly Boundaried LIVE. ($35)
