Nothing is Wrong

Nobody asks me what's wrong anymore.

I didn't even know that was a freedom I wanted and needed.

I am quiet—no one asks what is wrong, they just keep going about their own day, within their own peace.

I express any emotional experience—no one asks what is wrong. They will say, "would you like to share? May I hold you? Let it out."

Everyone in my life knows that nothing is wrong.

Nobody in my life is going around presuming things are wrong, trying to fix things, putting out fires.

I didn't expect it to feel like freedom, but that's what it is.

Freedom from emotional labor. Freedom from others' fear-projections onto my behavior and experience. Freedom from the manipulation of being required to feel only one allowable range of feelings.

I want this freedom for everyone I know.

If you're a What's Wronger and you wanna do better, here are three tips:

1. Make observations rather than evaluations

—"Something is wrong" is an evaluation you make when you ask what is wrong.

—the observable fact is "you are crying."

—"my love, you're crying." That's an invitation for them to do anything, ask for anything, say anything.

2. Notice when you want to comment on what you feel from another body, and FEEL it instead

—they're quiet and you feel that they are agitated or upset, you may or may not make a story this is about you, but your impulse is to make a comment.

—if their communication is nonverbal, you may also communicate nonverbally. if you feel something is wrong, how can you wordlessly, with your own energy, make it right?

—basically just soften your belly. it seems insane but the results on other bodies in the room are instantaneous.

3. Get right with your own life.

—where are you using emergency and crisis as currency? are there other economies available to you?

—what's wrong, for you, when something is wrong for someone else? respecting others' sovereignty means allowing them to have ANY experience they are choosing. what makes that hard for you?

—"I stay in my own business."