Offbeat Polarity

In partner dance, when he's off-beat, I stay on-beat.

This is one of many instances when great following means not following the leader. The leader's authority in any situation is governed by his harmony with the larger authority—in the case of partner dance, that's the music, the floor space, and the bodies.

If he's not in harmony with the music, he's offering me a choice between his lead and the music, and my choice is to follow the music.

It's the quickest way for him to get back on beat, and it's my responsibility for *my body to be on beat.* It's the only way I can truly say I am showing up for the art of the dance.

Obeying a leader over my authority is also a way that I can place myself in harm's way and then criticize his leadership or fault him for harm I incur.

On the dance floor, if he's about to run us into some other bodies, I firm the tone of my body and come to stillness—it is my responsibility as a follower to aid a leader in following the authority. I have eyes, too, for a reason. He's sometimes moving backward.

If he offers me a move or pattern beyond my range, it is my responsibility as a follower to honor my own range. He cannot know it. He cannot know his offer is beyond my range. I do not obey him when he invites me to something beyond my range. This is disobedience in service to him and to our ongoing dance—if I go beyond my range, I could be injured and unable to dance.

Following is an empowered, active role. It is SO FUN to do in partnership. It's not right or required, it's not fit for universal application, it's NOT obedience, it is NEVER mere obedience.

Even on the dance floor, we might gracefully, playfully, artfully break apart and dance without touching, abandon the lead/follow dynamic to follow the authority of the music, the floor, the bodies.

It isn't fragile. We can always pick it up when we are both in harmony with the authority.

The lead/follow dynamic is NOT THE RELATIONSHIP.

The charge is not the connection.

The polarity is not the partnership.

Leading and following are optional, pleasurable, enjoyable roles to play with on many fractals, and the larger part of leading is exquisite following—following the authority, part of which is the follower.

Tyranny is not leadership.
It is a tyrant who wants universal, constant, ongoing obedience.

The masculine worthy of my precious attention, capable of creating exquisite art with me, reviles that which would obey tyranny.

Couldn't be me.