People ask me what my hobbies are.
I lie in the arms of my loved ones.
Skin to skin with men who want nothing from me, who only want to share time with me.
Our breaths sync and I feel my heart open, my whole central channel open.
Open, flowing outward, empty, spacious.
I luxuriate in this space of safety, particularly with my male friends, with my lovers in platonic moments.
This is the imprint of safety for my body, the default of how it feels to be with a man.
I set it as the default, from a different default setting.
Craving arises from this space, and it's a craveable state on its own.
If craving arises, I can luxuriate in that.
But luxuriating in open emptiness is a more vulnerable state. It's something we all deserve to rehearse having.
Open emptiness is where the door is open, but nobody comes in. We are connected, and the connection says "hold right there."
I feel the way that my body is safe to be open, I rehearse being in that state with a man skin to skin with me. This is how I claimed a new default setting.
I get to have this as much as I want it, because the men in my life can ALL hold this space, this embodiment.
I am busy, therefore. Too busy for any man whose desire lands as a demand, who runs his nourishment so low that he's starved and clawing for anything he can get.
The men in my life are an offer simply for the way they exist in their bodies, the way their bodies are an offering to mine. They are an offering of safety, warmth, connection, presence.
There is nothing to do, there is nowhere to get.
