Premature
People get loyal too soon and betray themselves.
They pledge loyalty to incompatibility, which is a promise of instability.
This is the equivalent of thinking you can install the ground after the house is built.
There are so many story and belief-based reasons why these loyalties seem to need to strike so soon.
You want to be loyal as soon as you've added someone to your "body count," if that's important to you.
You want to be loyal if you have dysphoria about a man's impact on your sex.
You want to be loyal if you like the optics of the relationship.
You want to be loyal if you believe pledges of loyalty meet your sense of a "high standard."
You want to be loyal out of sheer desperation to just BE in a relationship.
You want to be loyal for the LOVE, even if the incompatibilities represent self-betrayals.
It is this misplaced premature loyalty that has you workshopping incompatibilities, possibly from the moment the relationship begins.
This is reinforced by any availability of the other person to "do the work" relationships are said to require, as well as all these narratives about how hard commitment is.
But is commitment, true commitment, where it *actually happens* in your life, difficult?
How hard is it for you to commit to your daily coffee?
How hard is it for you to commit to eat?
How hard is it for you to stay committed to the routine you have each day? (No, I do not mean the routine you imagine, I mean the one you DO.)
Commitment was never meant to be hard. It is part of the comfort of a creature of habit. In fact, when we are struggling to break a habit, we are contending with the power of our own commitment, the tenacity of our loyalty, the durability of our devotion.
Trying to be loyal and committed is a red flag.
Compatibility makes questions of commitment laughable.
Who would discard the perfect fit?
Something Like This
Something Like This
