Respectfully, You Don't Know What I'm Gonna Say

"I know what you're gonna say, 'nothing will change if I don't address that mindset.'"

It's pretty frequent that I hear something "I'm gonna say" come out of a prospective client's mouth, entrenched there by years of conversations with coaches and therapists encouraging them to change.

I actually love these moments, because they're an opportunity to set myself apart.

I am all about why you are a success now.

Everyone I have ever met is pressuring themselves to change in some way. They have judgments about themselves and are working hard to shift the behaviors they judge.

I don't need to be another voice like that for anyone. That voice is already in their head, why would they need to hear that from me, too?

It's not that behaviors don't need to change, or that that voice is wrong, it's that continual pressure to change is exhausting and keeps us stuck. Like when someone is trying to unlock the car door for you, if you keep trying to open it the whole time, you prevent it from unlocking.

I help my clients see why now is a success, showing them the places where gentleness, understanding, rest, and approval are available. This is deeply soothing, and over time, this voice becomes a key player in their head as well.

My approach is an additive approach. We don't need to try to let go of or change belief systems or behavioral patterns, we're simply gonna add new ones in.

Let's infuse you with love and approval, let's get you up to full nourishment, and then let's see what falls away, all by itself. No longer needed here.

Let's watch how some parts of you that you've been judging for years suddenly become the heroes in your eyes that they've been for you all along.

Let's uncover the genius at work in every thought, belief, and behavior, the way you've been loving yourself all along.

Let's install a system of self-love.