RSD

A lot of people come to me about RSD.

RSD stands for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

As with all labels, I find this one to be helpful in a limited way.

The way I find this one helpful is remembering D is for dysphoria.

Dysphoria is when I make something bigger than it is.

So if I were diagnosed with RSD, my meditation if I were ruminating on rejection would be, "what else is here?"

Dysphoria means I will tend to make rejection bigger than it is, or to let an experience of rejection fill the frame of my attention and become the entirety of my experience.

Knowing this, I learn the path of return from this wander—that's what meditation is, wander and return. Over time I make a well-trodden path from rejection to zooming out to see what else is there.

The unhelpful way to apply RSD is to use it as a way to excuse reactionary behavior toward experiences of rejection, or to inspire fear in others about how their behavior might land as rejection to me and how much more impactful that would be to me as a person with RSD.

Fear is not love.
Control is not love.
Preventing threat is different from achieving safety.

I embrace rejection because it is always a redirection to what is really FOR ME. It is an opportunity to ask "what else is here?"