Serve My Desire, I'll Serve My Need
I do not advertise my need to men, men serve me in the realm of my desire.
When I am in need, I am still only ever looking for OFFERS. Clean transactions or devotion. Generosity, desire, pleasure in provision. I am not interested in the extortion that ideas of my need might leverage on those who love me.
The severity of my need no longer drives me to demand any specific resource from any specific source. Severe need is a reckoning with any place I have dropped the ball, an audit to tune up the redundancy of nourishment in my ecosystem.
The realm of my need is MINE. Responsibility for my nourishment lies with me. That does not mean I must handle it alone, it means that I have full responsibility for handling it. It is never another person's business that I am in NEED, the only question is "would you like to play in this way?"
What feels better to receive from a loved one?
"I need to eat."
or
"Would you like to share a meal together?"
The fact/myth/idea/projection/experience of my need is my own. HOW I share it with others is always in some form of disguise, the way I'm always choosing the clothes I wear to interact with others.
These aesthetics matter in that they shape the TONE of the relationships I curate with others. They anchor us in a realm and range of feeling, prime us to have particular flavors of experience of one another and our circumstance.
I prefer my relationships to have a levity, a lightness of tone, reverence and irreverence in equal measure. In my experience, depth does not require weight, and weight in some cases prevents depth.
