Simple Leadership
I cowork with a close friend who lives nearby. It's like how at an office you have your work spouse, except we don't work for the same company or have a boss or have any need to disembody or depolarize our "office space."
We work in the comforting arms of Village Eros. We can let our bodies be homes for each other's bodies throughout the day, let the impulses of the bodies steward our time and resources, hugging when we want comfort, eating when we are hungry.
Having a work-husband means having the leadership of a partner in my space during the day. And he's exquisite with it.
He sees I can be distracted from whatever I'm in and rustles around in the fridge, hungry. We pick out ingredients together and I prepare and cook them while he tells me about his day so far, how he's crushing it. I kiss his forehead and adore him for it. He offers to chop the mushrooms, but I've got it.
Many home cooks will tell you—they're happy to cook, maybe even to clean up as well, but dear god, do not make me decide what to make. I fall in this category.
Interdependence is freedom from doing it all alone. Interdependence is also freedom from the mandate that we do it all together or "contribute equally."
In interdependence, we all have our attention on the wholeness, and we all do the part we are excited to do when we have our attention on the wholeness.
Having someone I care for in the house who has an opinion about what and when we will eat helps me feed myself, helps me cultivate the opt-in required to execute a meal. My existing opt-in is such that I can pleasantly put myself to any task or chore, so I am not looking to community as a way of "getting help."
Rather, I'm receiving the connection of collaboration in this here and now moment. I can easily do all the actions alone to feed many. The collaboration is what inspires me to do so, once I have transcended the emergency of need.
