Much of the reasoning for the rules by which I live my life could be called solipsistic.
I have to look this word up every time I see it.
When I type it into google now, the AI says "'Solipsistic' describes something characterized by or relating to Solipsism, the philosophical idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. It can also describe someone extremely self-absorbed or focused only on their own thoughts and feelings, to the exclusion of others."
I'm down to say that I believe it's best for me to tune to my own experience. When others run with my suggestion of this, they also seem to have a really good time.
But the thing that makes it such a good time is actually the way in which it makes us present to truly connect with others, to humanize them and experience our own humanity.
For example, the reason I don't blame, control, or manipulate is because I hate how it feels. It's effortful and yucky, hypervigilant, nauseating. Blame, control, and manipulation have me narrating that my loved ones are disempowered and untrustworthy, and I right then and there I live in a reality where I'm surrounded by the threat that something might go wrong.
It's possible to maintain duality AND "tune to my experience." That's where I go about demanding that others give me what I want and reprimand them when they don't give me what I want.
It's possible to be full of the residue of others' desires as I stride forth and sanctimoniously "claim my desires" in the world. That's where I set my sights on goodness and eradicate wickedness.
These are the practices of solipsism that result in the exclusion of others.
"Only one's mind is sure to exist." Ah, but does it? And where? And which of "me" is it, really?
This head of mine is FULL of shit. It's tapped into the Nothing source, capable of thinking Anything, constantly bombarded with Everything.
How much in here is me? MY mind?
Here's what I know: I am experiencing this now. Exactly this. What I imagine and what surrounds me on the physical plane. I am the observer of what my mind thinks and my body experiences, that UNION. I am that *relationship of distinction and oneness,* I am neither distinction nor am I the oneness.
I am the one experiencing *that.*
This is the zero-point field, the Nothing that births Anything, including What I Tell It To.
When I tune to my experience, it is this Union-self which is the I. When I tune to my experience, it is my experience of my body and my experience of my thoughts. The less I identify this experience as my “I,” the more I am curious about others, the more I know them to be unknowable and ever-evolving as I am.
From this curiosity, I know what is real is real. I know what is imaginary is imaginary. I know the veil is whisper-thin, that it moves at the slightest suggestion to include whatever I invoke. I believe that I am not the only one capable of invoking my imagination, and I aspire to recognize the invocations of others.
When I as this Union tune to my experience, my desires are zoomed out of any immediate situation life seems to be offering me. I find blame, manipulation, and control to be unpalatable, and even if I maintain that I would be bound to enact them in these conditions, I find myself free of the conditions.
I choose the experience of loving the world. This is how tuning to my experience serves to create connection in the world. My attention is for love. My desire to be in love eclipses and governs all other desires.
True love is absolutely empty. It is that zero-point, the Nothing, the Ground of Wellbeing which is desireless, or else full of intense desire for exactly what IS. It is pure curiosity, the depth of relationship with the unknown. This is intimacy, it's available where you are, here now.
This intimacy is the ground from which connection with others is easy and sweet, a reliable element in the ongoing collaboration with Everything life offers me and Anything that might happen.
My desire is not for something specific to happen in the world, so blame, control, and manipulation cease to even make sense. Control to what? to what? I would have to have an aim, and now my only aim is to see what happens, my only heading is to move, curious, toward the experience of love.
