Somallowance
Their willingness to argue back is preserving your delusion. It's preserving your least-efficient method of emotional expression.
What if they immediately said "I'm sorry, you are so right. What can I do to make it better?"
In my experience, the first time I received this response immediately to my justified hurt, the energy of my anger rattled in my body, showing the tide behind the potential argument.
Luckily, I knew about somatics. I asked him to hold me in a bear hug while I could fight back, using the energy in a return to connection, letting him be on my team for the real process.
That wrestle was a MUCH more efficient and potent use of the anger-energy than a conversation about how he could have not done what he did, how he could not do that in the future, how he's done it before, how he can assure me it will never happen like this again.
Same energy, different practices. One is in agreement with reality, embodied here and now, one uses a doomed war with reality, draining energy through abstraction.
Both are ways!
You get to pick what works for you.