Discover more from LovingU by Hannah Taylor
it's about courage and authenticity
I am very cautious to counsel anyone in specific "polarity-producing" actions like "women should clean the house" or "men should pay for dinner." It's possible those acts of service are in alignment with you, but if they're not, and you believe me when I tell you that's what polarity is, you're gonna have a bad time. Gender roles are NOT polarity.
Polarity happens when your cycle of desire and fulfillment aligns with another person's cycle of desire and fulfillment. When you love each other from a state of nourishment rather than need, when you trust desire alone and do away with obligation, and the person you are brings in the person who wants exactly what you are. (Yes, even that unlovable thing you just thought of. ESPECIALLY that thing.)
Polarity depends on the courage to do exactly what you want, and the brave willingness to have exactly what you want. That's what puts you at the polar extreme that’s most natural for you to occupy, the one which feels effortless. Living at your most comfortable and effortless extreme calls in the complement to that extreme.
When you try to be likable, you are neutral. You're not creating charge with others. This is likely because you fear the charge of conflict and want to prevent it. And it works! But it also prevents the charge of attraction.
When you have the courage to be yourself even if others don't like it, charge is not only possible, it's likely. It becomes a matter of having the communication skills and the boundaries to experience only the charge you WANT to experience. Attraction but not conflict.
Whatever relational style you choose, you’ll need courage and faith, and you’ll be faced with hard choices. But every hard choice gets easier when you create space for yourself to live and love from your authentic being.