When I Feel Annoyed
that's nobody's business but my own.
Telling someone about how they annoyed me is not a boundary, my annoyance with them is actually a failure of my boundaries.
Since it's a failure of my boundaries, it's none of their business
How did I come to feel annoyed?
What was missing from my self-provision, my nourishment, my honoring and cherishing of others' unique presentation in the world, their choices, their freedoms, their feelings, their desires, their whims?
Am I relating beyond my ability to show up exquisitely?
Am I really seeing the one I love in their complexity and nuance and agency? Or am I seeing only what I lack from them, only their debts to me?
Was I committed to being loving to myself and therefore to those around me? Did I show up to be in service? Or am I annoyed from a space of entitlement, going into depletion in order to "deserve" the support I "need?"
It is my boundary that I relate from a space of love. The boundary is the point of connection, it's how connection feels.
I do not relate from a space of irritation or annoyance—I simply do not arrive there as a matter of my practice. Arriving at annoyance is the greatest catastrophe that can befall me, given how my boundaries are set. My practice continually arrives me in love. Devotion is refinement to love.
My boundary is what I show up for and how I show up—the one informs the other. I choose what I show up for to make sure that the way I show up can be easily and effortlessly gracious and exquisite. I commit to being gracious and exquisite to refine what I show up for, knowing my precious time on the earth is limited, my attention is finite, my energy must go somewhere.
I desire to spend my time in love with reality as it's happening, which is both, always both, savage discernment and radical acceptance.
The truth in this post is capable of changing the entire world. It’s changed my world that’s for certain. ❤️