Why Devotion is So Hard
There's a reason why devotion is so hard
It's because we live in a culture of pervasive delusion
and devotion requires intimacy.
Devotion is hard because intimacy is hard.
Intimacy—true intimacy—flies in the face of our culture of perpetual delusion.
No, this is not the intimacy of sex or other closeness
Intimacy is being in love with what is.
Intimacy is the radical closeness possible when we are present to ALL that is, of circumstance, of my experience, and of your experience.
Intimacy requires seeing what is
(not just my projections of what should be)
Intimacy requires accepting what is
(not tolerating it, not workshopping it, not trying to change it or asking it to change in any way)
Intimacy requires being in love with what happens
(continually attaching and detaching to an idea of what *might* happen)
Are you capable of this level of intimacy?
Would you want to be?
I often find, when I describe it, people would NOT like to be this intimate.
We have been trained to take comfort in our delusions, and to pretend they are as real as anything, to the point of being insulted when delusions are identified as such.
Once, I suggested to a man that he was depending on delusions.
"I don't think that's true,"
"Oh, ok. Hey, by the way, what time are you leaving here?"
"We're staying through tomorrow morning."
"DELUSION!" I called him on it, playfully, and he smiled.
Yes, EVERY plan is a delusion,
now, are you sure you want this level of intimacy?
What would you do, really, for love?
Would you surrender every plan and your love of making them?
Would you surrender every idea of how it might play out?
Would you surrender your righteous sense of what another person owes to you?
Would you surrender your sanctimonious standards, your right to moralize your preferences?
Will you humble yourself before the unfolding of the present moment, worship its sanctity?
Will you have the nerve then to bring this humility to the feet of another human
(with the confidence you've chosen someone worthy)
to serve them your genuine limitations and earnest failures
and be adored for them
all the rest of your life?
Will you surrender heartbreak itself,
and be devastated, instead, by love?
