You Feel Me?
As a palpable person, a deeply feeling person who is easily felt by others, the experience of violation and mis-attunement from others has two conflicting accusations.
On the one hand, it says "you're not feeling me! how could you?" and in the exasperation there is a genuine curiosity, since feeling others is not something that's easy for me to turn on and off.
On the other hand, usually deep in my subconscious, it says "I know you feel me, and you're doing this TO ME anyway." It's an accusation that seeds resentment like sand seeds a pearl. The resentment is something *I build* on this contamination. (it's not so pretty as a pearl, but it will break your teeth...)
The first hand reveals my genuine disbelief in someone else's inability to feel me. I project that the world is like me, so if I can feel, it's my first instinct to believe that they will feel.
The other hand reveals the way a BELIEF is deeper than thought. When I use the first question to truly consider whether the other is feeling me or not, I can THINK that they do not, and THINK this will satisfy my belief that *they must* feel me.
But beliefs are nothing we shift with one simple thought. They are structures of our consciousness. Thoughts are doorways, beliefs are buildings. Slamming a door doesn't destroy the building.
A thought that I have shifted a belief may be a thought produced by a durable belief that is taking on a new disguise. This is why I don't pressure myself to change my beliefs, I seek circumstances that resonate with the beliefs I choose to curate. This is why I don't get caught up in HOW resentments have built, I simply discharge them, and shift the conditions that enabled them to grow.