Wow, I love reading about your process and would love to understand more specifically how you move from a negative thought loop into a positive goal, because I still sometimes find myself spiralling in them. I am keen to explore this topic more since I see it as being connected to some deep mysteries in the universe that could teach me something vital about life and how to avoid unnecessary suffering and to bring more love and compassion into my every day interactions, especially in the times that I'm struggling to be compassionate to myself (a trigger is the infinite scroll on some of the other social media apps). Saying that, I am proud that I have already made some progress and I find the hardest thing for me to do is actually to pause and be really present with what's going on in the moment. It's hard for me to simply accept and feel the physical sensations and emotions without judging them, because my tendency is to rush around and reacting unconsciously. Once I've paused for a moment, it's easier. I can then ask "What am I feeling? What am I needing? What am I really longing for?" and connect to my fundamental human needs. I liken it to being really present with a child who is trying to get my attention, and softening to really see them and be with them for a while. The child instantly picks up on my presence and we start to co-regulate together. This presence helps to create a deeper quality of connection with myself and my reality. My current understanding is that my needs essentially define the problem space that I am trying to solve. Once I know what my needs are, it's easier for me to come up with a creative strategy to meet them. I've been calling these YEStrategies (or "yes strategies") because they are intended to go deeper, create a wider range of possibilities and foster more connection and "YES!" moments.
Wow, I love reading about your process and would love to understand more specifically how you move from a negative thought loop into a positive goal, because I still sometimes find myself spiralling in them. I am keen to explore this topic more since I see it as being connected to some deep mysteries in the universe that could teach me something vital about life and how to avoid unnecessary suffering and to bring more love and compassion into my every day interactions, especially in the times that I'm struggling to be compassionate to myself (a trigger is the infinite scroll on some of the other social media apps). Saying that, I am proud that I have already made some progress and I find the hardest thing for me to do is actually to pause and be really present with what's going on in the moment. It's hard for me to simply accept and feel the physical sensations and emotions without judging them, because my tendency is to rush around and reacting unconsciously. Once I've paused for a moment, it's easier. I can then ask "What am I feeling? What am I needing? What am I really longing for?" and connect to my fundamental human needs. I liken it to being really present with a child who is trying to get my attention, and softening to really see them and be with them for a while. The child instantly picks up on my presence and we start to co-regulate together. This presence helps to create a deeper quality of connection with myself and my reality. My current understanding is that my needs essentially define the problem space that I am trying to solve. Once I know what my needs are, it's easier for me to come up with a creative strategy to meet them. I've been calling these YEStrategies (or "yes strategies") because they are intended to go deeper, create a wider range of possibilities and foster more connection and "YES!" moments.